The Alopecia Trio do not do PC songs. So, if you’re fond of musical tributes to Microsoft Word and Windows 95, steer well clear of Alive…out of Spite. And don’t let the title mislead you – the album is certainly not the musical equivalent of listening to Philip Larkin bang on about death and concrete. It is in fact a hair-raising collection of punk tracks.
“We are The Alopecia Trio! We don’t do covers and we don’t f*** about!” And so begins album opener ‘Hippo’, which may have been partly inspired by the Bewdley-based band’s local zoo, also known as West Midlands Safari Park. “I tempt you with my saveloy / My meat is all for you!” – lines shared with the vigour of Johnny Rotten in his sneering pomp, though the music is pure Ramones. ‘I Love You Baby’ carries on the theme of animal romance, with references to London Zoo and a kangaroo. It’s all so utterly frantic, it sounds as though cascading chunks of the ceiling might feature as backing noise.
Thankfully, the building stays intact, and we get to hear ‘Sick and Tired’. The announcement that “I couldn’t give a toss about global pollution” is both irresponsible and nihilistic, but that’s punk I suppose. Likewise, “a singalong chorus about testicles” is punk, and such a chorus is part of following track ‘Jesus Shaves’, which is exactly the sort of penknife graffiti one would be glad to see on a toilet cubicle door. ‘Buggered in a Bunker’ is not an account of an attempt to free one’s ball from a sandy divot, though it might be if you assume that I’ve just written a metaphor.
The expansive, Cult-like opening of ‘Sleeping on Cardboard’ gives way to bitter condemnation of a manipulative and lazy so-and-so whose rent is paid by us. One looks forward to the B-side ‘Sleeping in Buckingham Palace’. Everyone knows that “the three things you need in life are bread, beer and bogroll,” though you could argue that the track ‘Bread, Beer and Bogroll’ isthe fourth necessity. No one likes to be put in a box, especially when they’re still alive. ‘Pigeon Hole’ is about individuality and breaking the restricting confines of externally imposed categories: “Don’t put me in your box! / I’m an individual! / And I can break your locks!” Bands from North Worcestershire write all the best liberation anthems.
“Get thee scone!” shouted the dyslexic baker-slash-priest Profiterole Pete to Satan. Thankfully, we’re aware of this unfortunate miscake because The Alopecia Triohave taken the trouble to write a song called ‘Profiterole Pete’. Next track ‘Psycho’ recalls a more modern type of conflict – namely, a mismatch in personalities. Such things are more likely to happen if you use labels like ‘psycho’, I would suggest.
However, the band disagree, as evidenced by the name of their final track: ‘All My Friends Are Wankers’. The band (who are presumably friends with each other) sound gleeful rather than annoyed as they run through various reasons why people they know are so disappointing. The track is also notable for the spacy, Hawkwind-style guitar effect just beyond the halfway point – perhaps an indicator of a future genre mash-up? Space punk! Has that been done before? Everything’s been done before, and yet we persist. Alive…out of spite.
Alive…out of Spite is out now on Apple Music and other digital platforms.
By: Neil Laurenson